A New Do

Day 12
Prompt from Think Kit by SmallBox: Try something totally different.  Have something for lunch or dinner you don't normally eat.  Make up a new recipe.  What did you come up with?

When I met Andy he had the longest hair and the fluffiest beard of any man I have ever known.  That was more than six years ago, and other than a couple of trims, not much has changed.  When we were getting married someone asked me if I was going to make Andy cut his hair and shave his beard for the big day.  I remember thinking, "this is the man I fell in love with.  Why would I want him to look completely different on the biggest day of our lives together?"

So, I was pretty surprised when Andy came home last week and told me that he wanted to cut off his hair.  He even had a picture of the style he was thinking of.  I was nervous...really nervous.  He scheduled an appointment at Geneva Hair Studio, and as the day neared I tried to prepare myself.

What if I didn't like it?  What if he didn't like?  How would people react?  Would people think I "made" him do it?  What would Ramona think?

It surprised me how quickly I got used to his new look.  After about a day, I stopped doing double takes when I saw him out of the corner of my eye.  I have always felt like he was an extremely handsome man, and that has not changed, but it certainly is trying something new.

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh So Ugly

Okay, as promised, the intent of this blog is to give my children an accurate description of what life was like when they were little.  And since I am quite certain that they will not remember their mom as this woman who had it all together...I should probably write a bit about our not so good days.

At bedtime, for the last couple of months, Ramona and Andy or I have been reading "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day."  Ramona calls it "Bad Day."  It is the story about a young boy who wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and spends the day complaining about trivial matters.  My favorite part being, "There were lima beans for dinner, and I hate limas.  There was kissing on TV, and I hate kissing."  This past week, I have been channeling my inner Alexander.

I get this way from time to time.  It has been like this since high school.  I don't really have a reason to feel down, but I just get into a funk and become a grumpy moody mess.  I just want to curl up and sleep all day, or run away and wander a bookstore alone for a couple hours.  Little things stress me out...laundry, dishes, Christmas outfits, wedding gifts that I am very behind in making, sick kiddos, the need to workout, the desire to eat more, being "behind" in blog entries, and on and on.  I can't shut my brain off.  It sounds dramatic...it feels dramatic too.  And then comes the guilt.

Andy always teases me that I get too emotionally involved in TV shows and movies. When I was pregnant with Ramona he wanted to watch The Wire. We got two episodes in and we had to stop. It was making me a nervous wreck. *We have since watched the whole series, and I would highly recommend it!*  With Miles it was Breaking Bad. And again, I couldn't do it. My fragile emotional state during pregnancy does not allow for such drama.

This is how we watch a show. We don't have cable, so we wait until a season is on Netflix or on DVD at the library and then marathon watch. We watched the entire series of Lost in just weeks...mostly on the weekends. *This was pre-children mind you.

So, it is unlike us to have a show that we tune in for every week.  But for whatever reason we have been watching Parenthood since it first started. Andy thinks that I like it because it is a large family who all talk at the same time...much like my own.

I cry almost every week. Usually over little things. *I must admit that I once cried watching Tim Allen's Jungle to Jungle...so, it doesn't take much.* But watching the last new episode, made my heart break!
One of the characters made a video for her children because she has breast cancer and wanted to have something to give them in case she did not make it through treatment.

I know it's a TV show, but I also know that there are real people that have to go through illness and death.  I started thinking about what it would be like to have to say goodbye to my babies, or be losing Andy.  I cannot imagine the pain these people endure.

Then the tragedy happened in Connecticut.  And I thought about losing my kiddos.  Honestly, I can't think about it long, because it is just too overwhelming of a prospect.  I can't even try to put myself in those people's shoes.  Really that is all I can write about it.  It just completely overwhelms me.

So, how can I feel down when I have literally NOTHING to complain about?  Every time I lose my patience with Ramona, or wish that Miles would sleep in his bed for longer periods at night I feel guilty...which makes me more grumpy.  A vicious cycle.

There are things that I know, from experience, help:
-getting out of my house
-showering and getting ready dressed in the morning (seems little, but is a huge deal!)
-having something to look forward too/change in schedule
-acknowledging that I am being a grumpasaurus rex and making a conscious decision to act/feel otherwise

So, tomorrow I will get up and get ready, we will go on an outing to play group, I will look forward to the rapidly approaching holiday, and I will apologize to my loving husband and kiddos for not being my best self.  Just writing this and having a plan has made me feel better already.

Not Your Traditional Stance on Traditions

Day 10
Prompt from Think Kit by SmallBox: What new traditions do you want to start this year?

Oh traditions...how can I not sound like a Scrooge and still say, "No New Traditions!?"  Andy and I talk about this often.  We both come from big families with lots of "traditions."  Some are them are real, like my family cutting down a Christmas tree together, but a lot of them are not really that meaningful, like a chili dinner on Christmas Eve when we have already celebrated Christmas at three other events with those same family members.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love our families.  I love that my kids will grow up knowing five of the great-grandparents, their great-aunts, uncles, and second cousins!  But when you combine the number of "traditions" our families have, we might just have one for everyday of the year.  So, we are currently removing traditions from our schedule.  And that is not to say "Bah Humbug" to the whole idea, but that we want to truly appreciate the "traditions" that we do celebrate.

A Partner

Day 9
Prompt from Think Kit by SmallBox: What did you do this year when things got hectic?  How did you unwind?

I have the utmost respect for single parents.  I cannot imagine raising kiddos on my own.  When things get hectic, I turn to my partner, and I will never have sufficient words to express how much he means to me.  I am a worrier, an over thinker, a stress ball.  But seeing my husband, hearing his voice, calms me, centers me, makes me a better person.

Makin' Stuff

Day 8
Prompt from Think Kit by SmallBox: What did you make this year? Whether work-related or something more personal (like a song, craft project, or work of art), share your process and the end result.


As a carry over from my last post...I have been a "makin' stuff" fool this year.  Here are some of my projects:

Pudding Paint for Ramona 

 Recovered Our Front Porch Furniture

 Two of the Three Outfits for Ramona

 A Not All The Way Finished Yarn Wreath

 A Piece of the Scecina Project I am Working On

 Loaf of Bread

 Max and Wild Thing Halloween Costumes

Marshmallow, Apple, and Peanut Butter "Smiles"

Another Little Ramona Number

But what was my favorite thing I made this year...

This Guy.

Pinterest Board

Day 7
Prompt from Think Kit by SmallBox:  What do you want your life (or your kitchen, your job, your x) to look like?  Create you own inspiration board.


I have had a couple of days to think about the prompt for Day 7.  And, at the risk of sounding obnoxious, I like how my life looks right now.  Sure we don't have much money, our house is a constant mess, and we are learning how to juggle having two little ones.  But, by and large, I am living out my dreams.

Still, plenty of things inspire me on a daily basis.  And, since Ramona was born, I have been enjoying doing more DIY projects.  This is where Pinterest comes in.  Probably a sad addiction,  but it has helped me rejuvenate my interest in sewing projects, given me ideas for crafts for the kiddos, and made me a more adventurous cook.  So, as far as inspiration boards go...feel free to browse my Pinterest page.

East Side Catholics, Clap Clap, Clap Clap Clap

Day 6
Prompt from Think Kit by SmallBox:  How do you want to get involved in your community this year?


My parents moved to Indianapolis when I was four years old, and happened to buy an old home on the east side of the city.  There was no connection to this community, but I definitely feel like God had a hand in them landing where they did.

Growing up in Irvington and attending east side Catholic schools made me the person that I am today.  For everything I learned from I book, I learned three things from the people around me.  I am by no means perfect, but I do think I was brought up in a home and in a community where I was taught to appreciate others, to be grateful for and humbled by what I have, to feel confident that I could try whatever I wanted to try (including being on the tennis team in high school even if you were and still are a horrible tennis player) and to try to give back as much as I take.

And it's not just me.  I truly believe that each member of my family are who they are and value what they value, in part, because of this community we became a part of.

When I was grown, I happened upon a boy who grew up in that same community.  He would be quick to point out that he is four years younger, so when I was a senior at Scecina, he was an 8th grader at Holy Spirit; however, this is irrelevant because when we met he was 21 and I was 25...completely appropriate in my book.

Our relationship started and has continued to be the easiest relationship I have ever experienced.  I think this is, in large part, due to the fact that we come from the same stock.  We were raised with the same values, with the same education, and also with the same people.

So, it does not surprise me that we met because he played in my best friend's little brother's band.  Or that all but 1 of our 12 person wedding party were east side raised.  Or that we bought a house in Irvington, where we will raise our children, and will grow up as parents with the same people we grew up with as kids.

I love it!  And I appreciate it more than I could ever put into words.  There is something special about this community of people, and I know not everyone has the same warm and fuzzy feelings about the "small, family environment," but it sure means a lot to me.

Which is why in 2003 I started directing the musicals at Scecina Memorial High School.  Why, for three years, I coached cheerleading at Our Lady of Lourdes.  And why in 2009 I accepted a job at Scecina working to increase enrollment, improve their online and print communication, and, most importantly, fund raise so that kiddos who wanted to go Scecina, but could not afford it, would get the same opportunity I did.

I wanted to give as much as I could back to the community that helped me become me.  So, what are my plans to help this community in the coming year?  How am I going to get involved?

Well, today someone mentioned that they felt like my blog was being written with "valuable sincerity," and while that is extremely flattering, it has also made me conscious that people are actually reading this thing and I better be honest.  So...my plans for community involvement...there are none.

Sure I will try to go to the OLL chili cookoff, and I will buy a candle from a Scecina softball player, and I will help my husband make a video for Scecina to use in their fundraising efforts, but that's about all I have in mind at this point.  I took the job at Scecina to give back, but I left my job at Scecina to start a family.  And now I have a little community within this community that is my sole focus at the moment.

I retired this year after nine years directing the musical.  I miss it already!  But I would feel selfish trying to be there Monday - Thursday nights from 7-9PM for three months when I have two little ones and a husband at home.  It just doesn't make sense for my family right now.

Hopefully by making these decisions, and trying to instill in my kids the same values my parents and this community instilled in me, years down the road there will be two more people who want to give back to Indy's east side.  And hopefully soon, I will be able to get back to paying off the debt I owe too.